Old brain VS new brain

It's been two weeks now since I started to attempt to weigh myself less.
It's hard.
I never realised the unhealthy comfort that it gave me to weigh myself 8/9/10 times a day. I knew it made me feel better to do it but I didn't realise how much I was reassured and comforted by it.
My constant companion, my eating disorder, the thing that has given me life at the exact same time as it has destroyed my soul.

I try now to weigh myself once every 2/3 days. Sometimes I'm successful with this but often I'm not.
The temptation calls to me. Beelzebub reminding me that I can just quickly stand on those scales and then at least I will know exactly what I weigh.
Trying to change the way you have thought for years and years and years is hard.
It's almost as if my brain just doesn't know what to think anymore.
On one hand it tells me to weigh myself and then I can base what I eat or dlnt eat around that, I can use laxatives and be in control.
On the other hand it tells me if I weigh myself I'll start losing weight and I'm still classed as underweight so that would be bad.
My old, eating disorder brain VS my new non-eating disorder brain.
The problem is that my new non-eating disorder brain is so young and inexperienced, and my old, faithful ED brain feels more homely and much safer.

I cannot complain because in general I do feel better now than I did a few months ago, or than I did this time last year, but I'm still fighting and still struggling.
And I wonder if the struggle will ever end.