Something inside me can't heal.
I force myself to eat the most 'normal' meals I can and with every bite I disgust myself.
Eight years I have had this thing living inside me.
I asked my therapist how can I know whether what my voice tells me is real or not? I have put on a little bit of weight so Beelzebub tries to force me to lose it.
My therapist asked was I happier at 40kg with nothing much left in my life, when I lost friends and my career path.
Maybe I was?
Beelzebub tells me nothing mattered except being the lowest weight possible.
How do you ignore that?
How do you ignore something that lives inside your very soul?
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